The Value of Love
He peers out at me, his eyes reflecting the little daylight the blinds let in. The dark cozy blanket from his wife drapes over his thin body, in sharp contrast to the hospital whites and his skin folds over itself finding nothing left to hang on.
I feel the fear and the confusion before he speaks. Last week he was working every day until the pain in his abdomen became too intense. His two little girls and his pregnant wife had begged him to come to the Emergency Room. He’s just been told he has Stage 4 gastric cancer. He might live a month.
Many years of consulting in a hospital setting have given me a perspective on life and love and work that are at the foundation of nineQ. I recently told someone that if I had a billion dollars in the bank, I’d be doing exactly what I’m doing… co-creating integrated, scalable solutions to the human friction that currently exists in many organizations.
Do we remove all pain and suffering? I wish I could say yes, but I can’t. What we can do at nineQ is alleviate much of the friction, stress and overwhelm that people are experiencing every day at work. Why does this matter to organizations? Healthy, engaged people who feel that their leaders care for them are more likely to be efficient and productive which means increased profitability.
Why does this matter to me? To the team at nineQ? Because none of us knows what tomorrow brings. The man I described above lived only 5 days after he came to the hospital. Some people say love doesn’t belong in the workplace. I say that’s part of what’s wrong in our world. We’re humans. We care. It’s ridiculous to think we can leave that at home when we go to work. And, honestly, right now, what we need more of is human kindness, the love that comes from truly caring about how we show up and how we relate to others.
At nineQ, we have four core values: Love, Integrity, Service and Play. We started off with about 20 when we were founding the company, but as we discussed and debated which were truly at the core of who we are, we realized that these four encompass almost everything else that matters. We’ll share more about the other three in another post, but today I want you to think about the value of love.
So what’s love got to do with business? Or, more specifically what’s love got to do with our company, us as founders, our clients and the world around us? As one of our values (we are values-based leaders as written about by Dr Betty Uribe), love guides us in decisions we make and how we show up. We believe that if we want to see an improved world around us that it starts within us. Rather than blame, shame or judge another person or group of people, we remind ourselves to come from a place of love… even if we might disagree.
This love stuff starts within. You can’t live, work, play, share and experience love around you if you don’t love yourself. This is surprisingly challenging for many people, and sadly, not realized until they have a moment like the one I described above, either themselves or with a loved one.
“QUESTION: Wondering if you embody love in your interactions? Take a look at what you say inside your head about yourself and everyone you interact with. Write it down. Be honest. If there is any criticism, blame, frustration or anger being expressed that means there is an opportunity for you to expand in love.”
Look, no one is perfect. And, no team or organization is perfect. Yet, we know from experience that when each individual starts from a place of love, so much more good can be created. So, when you read articles talking about alignment, engagement, talent attraction and retention, diversity and inclusion, culture, morale and productivity consider that none of that is possible without the individuals involved embracing love. (more on healthy cultures)
Of course, you can take actions that aren’t based in love in order to influence people, but ultimately the results aren’t sustainable. Fear, blame and threats are part of the old paradigm and the world is becoming increasingly less tolerant of this kind of behavior, especially in organizations. Does having love as a core value prevent an organization from being profitable? Absolutely not. In fact, research is showing us that the types of behaviors associated with love increase productivity and profitability.
For example, let’s look at engagement or lack of engagement. Without love underlying actions and words in the workplace, this will easily lead to people feeling disconnected or disengaged. One study found that a disengaged employee will cost your organization about $3,400 for every $10,000 in annual salary. This means that the American economy is missing out on somewhere around $350 billion per year due to lost productivity.
“QUESTION: How much money do you think your team/organization is losing every year due to disengaged employees? Every quarter?”
Love, to us at nineQ, means loving yourself enough to take responsibility for how you show up, loving others by being kind and inclusive and loving the world by doing your best to make it better than you found it, among other actions.
Wondering how to bring in more love to your team, organization? Consider this recent statement from an account manager to her leader:
“I really enjoyed the 9Q training, as the account managers are stretched thin and I think it is helpful for the team to learn new techniques to be healthier and more efficient. The training also shows that the leadership team cares about how we are feeling. From the feedback I have heard, it went a long way!”
Showing employees that they matter, connecting with people as humans and not simply “human capital” and being intentional about the values that you and your organization live by all will contribute to a more engaged team. This won’t happen without love.
How do we embody love at nineQ LLC? Look, we are still a startup and our team is lean, motivated, passionate and engaged. We created wrote a Manifesto to guide us early on (check it out here). Our intention is to continue living our values as we grow. What does this look like exactly when we talk about the value of love?
We are clear in our communication, even if it isn’t easy. (Brene Brown says “Clear is Kind”)
We are committed to being in the “9Q Green Zone” (one of the High Performance Habits we teach) before any important conversations or decisions, feeling as good and positive as possible.
Decisions are made, using our values and our vision as guideposts. If something doesn’t “fit”, we don’t force it.
Strategic goals are chosen by asking what we would love to celebrate in a year, 2 years, 5 years etc.
When challenges arise as they do, we get clear on our big vision, reconnect with our value of love before we proceed.
In a disagreement, we make sure to be in the “Green Zone”, then connect with what really matters before co-creating a solution that aligns with our values and goals.
If a potential business partner does not align with our value of love, we part ways.
We don’t waste people’s time. We focus on the fastest way to integrate our systems into a culture so that results are experienced as quickly as possible. (check out one of our case studies here)
We invest in research and regularly fine-tune our products and delivery systems to remove unnecessary friction, improve the results seen and make it easier for a team to execute.
Everything we have created and the foundation of our company is based on a deep love of humans and a desire to improve the world.
These are all behavioral examples of how we live our core value of love and include love of oneself, love for others, love for the world. Now your turn. We’d love to hear how you embody love in your life.
“QUESTION: Life is too short to lose opportunities to love. Even if it isn’t a core value of your team or organization, how do you embody love in your work and in your life? ”
If you want more information on how the nineQ Frameworks and Process can help your team or your organization increase engagement, efficiency, morale, inclusion and your bottom line, contact us at contact@9qsolutions.com